A Miracle!

I have witnessed a miracle. Not just the sun coming up or a beautiful rainbow after a storm or the birth of a baby (which is really amazing) but a true, out of the ordinary, not happening every day, honest to God miracle.


5 months ago a friend of ours was in the hospital with a massive heart problem, not eating, on oxygen and basically waiting for the medical professional to unplug him so that he could die peacefully.

Hospice was in place and ready to be at home with him if needed, his wife knew the end was near, our home group was praying for him and the thought process was "how can we best support his wife after his death."

Several of us visited him in the hospital and asked what we could do. Her only answer each time was "pray, only a miracle will help him now."

Six weeks ago he walks into church on Sunday morning under his own power. No walker, no cane, no help. He lost approximately 60 pounds and looks great. Without a single doubt in my mind, that was a miracle.

During the 2010 holiday season, enjoy your friends and family, indulge in a (little) extra desert, then add 5 minutes to your work-out, and make the most out of the time you have. It's really never enough.

Tisha

Get help with an unpaid job

This morning on a news show, I heard a woman say that she agreed to the "job" as executor of an estate for a very dear friend of hers.


How interesting, and true. However, this job usually takes several months, if not a year or more, you don't get paid, and you have to squeeze it in between your real job and life.

We understand the time it takes to close and estate, and we understand the frustration of not knowing where to start or what to do.

During this holiday season, allow us to take the burden of closing the estate. We know firsthand what it's like to lose a loved one during this time. The season should be a time to enjoy family and friends, share meals, open gifts and remember a wonderful life.

Happy Holidays.

What I'm changing for the holidays

What I’m changing for the holidays!


Most people are in the holiday shuffle shopping mind set, finding parking at the mall or wherever, what do I get for the kids, parents, friends, and so on. How many places do I need to go, how many parties, what to cook, what to wear, and so on. It makes me tired just reading it!

I use to be that way but now it's different. With all the changes that took place over this last year, I have a new outlook on the holiday season.

First, I'm only going to buy presents for those people that I REALLY want to buy something for and that will appreciate it. Everyone else will get a card.

Speaking of cards, I am going to send more this year. I think it's a great way to catch everyone up on our family, just in case they may be interested.

Second, I'm going to my first cookie exchange. This does require me to cook so I'll apologize now and happily take my 4 dozen. My boys will be very excited for me to come home with other people's cookies. If everyone who ate my cookies survives, I'll make this an annual item.

Third, I'm going to watch every single holiday girlie movie that I can squeeze in. Since they are only on about twice during the holiday season, why not go all out? I'm well stocked with Kleenex and wine and occasionally a girlfriend to watch with.
Fourth, did you know there is such a thing as Yule School? Who knew? That is where some fantastically talented person teaches you how to decorate your home and tree for the holiday season. I can hardly wait!

Last, I'm going to hug my friends and family until they are absolutely sick of it! I can't wait!

I hope your holiday season, no matter what you celebrate, is a happy and blessed one. Merry Christmas!

Tisha Diffie, After the Fact - Final Affairs, LLC

PLAN AHEAD - laugh a little at this one

I received this joke from a friend of mine.  Reading it is funny but you would be surprised at how many times we come up against this type of thing.  Read and enjoy!

Plan ahead


Cancel your credit card before you die..........(hilarious!)

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die.  This is so priceless, and so, so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today.

A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank.

Here is the exchange:

Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you she died back in January.'


bank: 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'


Family Member: 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'


bank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'


Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'


bank: 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'

Family Member: 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'


bank: 'Excuse me?'

Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?'


bank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.'


bank: 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.'


Family Member: 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'

bank: (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'

Family Member: 'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Lawyer info was given).

bank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'


Family Member: 'Sure.' (Fax number was given).

After they get the fax:

bank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'

Family Member: 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care.'


bank: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.'


(What is wrong with these people?!?)


Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing address? '


bank: 'That might help...'


Family Member: ' Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69.'


bank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery!'


Family Member: 'And what do you do with dead people on your planet???

(Priceless!!)

Holiday Blues

I have never been one to be depressed around the holiday season. It's always a very busy time, lots of places to go, things to do, food to cook, decorations to hang and so on. This holiday is going to be different though.


I've finally decided to get rid of all those items I have been hanging onto that were dads. Shredding papers, getting things together for the tax return next year, wrapping up loose ends and things like that. It seems there are just as many people to call now as there was a year ago. It's not easier this year, just more matter-of-fact.

When I decorate, there will be some small voice in my head saying "dad should be here" or "last year dad was here with hospice" or "I'm not going to put this up because it belonged to dad." There will be so many variables it's hard to pin-point what it will look like.


With all that said, I'm looking forward to moving on to the next phase and being past all of those first year memories that have shown up, coincidently all year. Cooking turkey with all the trimmings, decorating the tree, hanging lights, wrapping presents and going to the parties I missed last year. What a celebration I can have now to honor dad's life.


Thanks for helping me move on. I have a very blessed life.

Tisha M Diffie
After the Fact - Final Affairs

Final Affairs - Death of a Child

Six funerals, two weeks, every one of them for kids under 18. Just when I think my life is a mess, a reality check brings me back and reminds me that there are a lot of people out there worse off than me. I’m thankful my job is not that of a funeral director.

Can you imagine trying to take care of funeral arrangements on your own? I can’t. Especially in situations like these.

I came across this article about a couple who have lost three children. http://marriage.about.com/cs/parenting/a/unthinkgrief.htm  It’s written from first-hand experience, something that I have no experience at and hope to never have, and shows that marriages can survive this horrible loss.

During the upcoming holiday season, spend time with your family and friends. You never know when it may end.

Tisha M Diffie

http://www.afterthefact-finalaffairs.com/

Estate Closure Service - $1.25 check costs $16.23 plus time - day 4

I have lost two weeks of time because I’ve been busy. This small check has costs me tons of time and frustration even if it’s not much money. I was thinking that I could just leave it alone and maybe it will go away but I don’t think it’s going to work. Guess it’s time to get it done.

I’m taking a ½ day of vacation. First, meeting with the planner to go over the paperwork; second, going to the bank to get it notarized; third, going to post office to mail it; fourth, going back home to get the death certificate that I forgot to bring with me when I left the house; fifth, back to the post office to mail it because the mail has already been delivered at my house. Can it really be that I had to take a ½ day of my own time to do this? Turns out I probably won’t have time to get other things done that I needed (or wanted) to.

Here’s hoping there won’t be a day 5!

Why I'm an Entrepreneur

There are a lot of people who say I followed in my parents food steps. My dad was a lawyer, so am I. My mother was a nurse, so am I. There are so many examples of this you could fill up pages and pages.

For the longest time I didn’t think I followed in my dad’s footsteps. He was a pharmacist, I was a financial advisor. Call me irrational but those two things are no where remotely related.

However, he was an entrepreneur. He owned his own business for 25 years. He never had any big goals or aspirations for the business, just pay the bills, put food on the table, shelter for the family, educate the kids and do the job. He never did a business plan, marketing plan, 1st or 4th quarter goals, business succession planning or anything remotely resembling a plan past the next day.

Yet, for 25 years he paid bills, paid employees, kept the doors open and managed to put both kids and his wife through college. He didn’t have a business coach, networking groups, business partners or other professionals in his industry to talk with. It was just him, getting up every day, going to work, sacrificing, and having faith that it would all work out.

Apparently it did. Upon his death, he had a healthy retirement, pension and social security that would have supported him for 10 years, no debt and family and friends that cared a great deal for him. Wouldn’t we all like to be so lucky.

While I didn’t follow in his ‘industry’ footsteps, I did follow in his entrepreneural footsteps; getting up every day, going to work, paying the bills, paying employees and doing the job. Some days are harder than others, some days require more faith than others, more networking than others, longer hours than others, but at the end of the day, he was an entrepreneur and so am I.

Thanks dad, for being such an excellent role model.

Estate Settlement vs. Estate Closure

Some things just need to be done by a professional. Taxes, legal work, hooking up your television/cable/DVR/stereo/miscellaneous electronics, moving and many others.


Something that is a ‘new’ profession is Estate Closure. Not legal work, not estate settlement or distribution, but estate closure. It’s all those items that fall to the family to complete after the death of a loved one. Generally speaking it’s during a time when you are grieving, trying to maintain your normal life, and doing something you probably have never done before. If you have, you know you don’t ever want to do it again.

What qualifies us as professionals to do this? Several things ~ experience, background, training and passion. Sure, you can take the time to do it, spending lunch hours, evenings, weekends for months on end and giving up time with the family.

You can also have non-professionals do it. For example a moving company. Will they just pack up the papers and move them with everything else? Will they go through them and trash documents without even talking with you about it? Do they sort them, give you the piles and say “ok, now go do the work”? Probably some or all of the above.

Why not do yourself a favor and focus on what’s important during a very difficult time? Family and grieving. Even if you want to do it, how productive will you be? If you are like I was, I sat in my office and stared at the wall for hours on end, eventually getting nothing done anyway.

If you would like to know how we can help you during a very difficult and overwhelming time, call us for a free ½ hour consultation. We know what you are going through, we’ve been there.

Our website has more information. After the Fact - Final Affairs

Estate Closure Service - $1.25 check costs $16.23 plus time - day 3

Day 3


It’s Sunday afternoon and what am I doing? Spending my time filling out paperwork that I don’t understand. Since it is Sunday I can’t call the company so it will have to wait until tomorrow. But it’s a holiday so they may or may not be open. Looks like this will once again have to be done over my lunch hour. This is frustrating ~ why do I have to do this?

Stay tuned for day 4

Estate Closure Service - $1.25 check costs $16.32 - day 2

Day 2 – It’s been three days since I made the call to the company and to the state about ordering death certificates.  Although I thought I would work on this at home it didn’t happen.  Its lunch hour and I am typing my letter to the state requesting another death certificate.  I don’t have an actual checkbook because I use bill-pay, so it’s necessary to run to the bank, get a cashier’s check and have my letter notarized.  Done with the letter so I’m off to the bank.

Since it's lunch hour, there are not as many tellers available and apparently everyone else needed to come to the bank also.  Waiting in line… waiting in line…. waiting in line…. when am I going to have time to eat while I’m waiting in line…. waiting in line.  My turn finally.  It’s a new teller and she doesn’t know how to do a cashier’s check yet.  So we have to wait until her manager comes over and works with her.  Why did I have to get the inexperienced teller?

Finally got the cashier’s check but she can’t notarize the letter.  I have to sign in at a different area and wait until called.  I’m running out of time but it would be a waste of time to have to come back.  I sign in and wait.  Fortunately no one else is waiting and they help me quickly.  Thank you.

Back at the office and have to work because the lunch hour is over.  I’ll take a few minutes before I leave to make copies of everything, address and stamp the letter.  Made copes but I don’t have a blank
envelope, only company ones and no stamps.  I’ll have to remember to do this at home tonight.

Stay tuned for day 3. 

Estate closure service - $1.25 check costs $16.32 - day one

How did the $1.25 check cost $16.32 plus time? This is how.


Day 1. The dividend check is received which means the stock wasn't in the brokerage account that was closed. The company number is listed on the check so the call is made during lunch hour. Waiting on hold.... waiting on hold.... waiting on hold.... waiting on hold.... can lunch be eaten while waiting on hold.... waiting on hold. Someone finally answers but can't help so transferring to another department. Waiting on hold.... waiting on hold.... waiting on hold.... Someone else answers and can help. Now there are three forms to be filled out (which can be e-mailed to me), one more letter to write and have notarized and another death certificate to send with them. We have no more death certificates so we have to order one.

Call the state, waiting on hold.... waiting on hold.... waiting on hold.... waiting on hold.... Someone answers. Yes we can order another one. Send $15 with a written request and self addressed stamped envelope to our address and we'll send you one. It will take approximately 3 -4 weeks. Lunch hour is over and now there is twice the amount of work to be done. Will work on this at home tonight.

Stay tuned for Day 2.

I can handle this, it's a small estate.

When people talk with us about our services it's inevitable that I hear them say they can handle it. 2 months later they are still working on it and have twice as much to do than when they started.


Believe me when I say "I've been there." I'm still working on my dad's estate 10 months later and his was a small one!

I've recently heard the following words ~- disheveled, braindead, recovery time, disheartened, baffled ~ these are only a few of them. As you can imagine, there are some that can't be repeated as well.
For those of you who want to tackle this monster on your own, here are a couple of tips to help you get through it.
1) Don't cancel the primary credit card used by your loved one. Many companies will credit back refunds to the card. This will speed up the process of getting money returned.

2) With all the companies that require a death certificate it can get very expensive. Ask if they will accept fax copies or better yet, a scanned PDF copy via e-mail. This saves time, postage and other expenses.

3) Use a return receipt when sending original documents. This gives you a record of who signed for it and when it was recieved. It guarantees that they have received what you sent and should help your follow up go smoothly.

These are small things that can save time and frustration in the long run. It's the hardest, longest job you can ever have. It usually only takes one time to realize you never want to do it again.

Estate closure service - asking for help

When you commit to something, are you ever really sure about the time it's going to take? Most times I have a pretty good handle on it, others, not so much. Take my newsletter for instance. My goal is to provide information that you find useful, can read it in about 4 minutes and highlight another professional. It's a lot more daunting that I thought it would be. I'm glad I asked for help!


I have found that to be true as well with clients. When we first speak with a prospective client, they are sure that they can get everything done over a weekend (if they are from out of town) or in the next couple of weeks if they live in town. After about week 3, I get that phone call "it's just too much and I need help." Sometimes I hear the hesitate in their voice asking. Having been there, done that, I understand completely that feeling of overwhelm and stress.

It's the primary reason my husband and I started doing this, because we needed help and there was no one. My simple, unsolicited advice is ~ ask for help~ whenever you need it. Painting, writing, moving, starting a company, writing a newsletter, closing an estate or simply anything that you can't tackle by yourself. I think you'll find that most people are more than happy to lend a hand.

By the way, thanks Cathy for all your help during our first exhibit at the 7th Annual NAELA Symposium. I couldn't have done it without you!

Estate closure service - I want to be like dad

You may not realize this yet but I have. My life on this earth is not infinite. My birth certificate didn't come with an expiration date, which doesn't mean I dont' have one it just means I don't know when it is.

I also know that no amount of money will make a difference. If you have $100 or $100M we all still have the same end result.

When I die and ultimately head to heaven, I hope that my family doesn't feel my life was a waste. I hope they aren't waiting for my insurance money or fretting over my portfolio or arguing over a piece of furniture. I hope they receive cards, letters, flowers, e-mails and text messages that overwhelm them.

I hope they hear stories of how I made a positive difference, helped someone in need or assisted a family during a crisis. I hope they hear that I was a good wife and mother, a good friend and a good business owner.

At the end of the day, I hope they have envelopes full of cards that they want to save, e-mails they want to re-read and memories that will make them smile.

In essence, I want to be just like my dad.

Estate closure services - death certificates

When you are closing the estate of a loved one, here is a simple item that will save you money. Prioritize who you have to send original death certificates to. Send the most important first and include a self addressed stamped envelope and ask them to return the death certificate when they have completed their business. In Z, death certificates are $15 each. This simple request can save the estate money.

My first blog

Hi, my name is Tisha Diffie, Founder and CEO of After the Fact – Final Affairs. We provide professional administrative estate closure services to families, trustees and personal representatives who are closing out the estate of a loved one.


Many of the items I will be addressing in my blog are time consuming. Be patient and realize that this is going to be a long process if you handle it yourself. Without professional guidance, you may be missing many things.

I hope you find our blogs helpful, with information that you are able to use, that will make your life easier.