In the best hands

From Scottsdale.Com


Losing a loved one is often a difficult time for the entire family. The emotional stresses run high and can be overwhelming when the paperwork starts piling up!
This is exactly why After the Fact - Final Affairs is devoted to helping you through this difficult time. While these professionals are canceling credit accounts, IDs, subscriptions and transferring car titles and looking for assets of the deceased; you can focus on spending time with your family.
They offer three packages for your convenience as well as hourly consulting and specialized services for minor children and surviving spouses.  Their premium package will remove the majority of the internet presence of the deceased and they will even receive mail and manage correspondence for up to a year.
The idea to help out families with the tedious paperwork that follows the death of a loved one came to Tisha Diffie in 2009 when she lost her own father and could not find a company to assist her. Tisha has since then began this impressive and compassionate company with a bonded, experienced and drug-free staff. As a former Investment Advisor Representative, Tisha is well aware of how to handle delicate matters and keep information confidential and protected.
If you have lost a loved one or are going through a death in the family, rest assured that After the Fact - Final Affairs is there. For more information, visit http://www.afterthefact-finalaffairs.com/.

the i like book: The "Meat" of the Sandwich Generation

the i like book: The "Meat" of the Sandwich Generation: The “Meat” of the Sandwich Generation It’s common that Baby Boomers are referred to as the S andwich Generation ~ taking care of elde...

My grandmother wore an apron

I can hear it now – AND?  Or WHY do I care? 

For 37 years of my life, my grandmother wore an apron when she was cooking or cleaning.  The reason she wore it was because she didn’t want to get her clothes dirty. The makes perfect sense.  I wear gloves to protect my hands, sunglasses to protect my eyes, shoes to protect my feet (although I could easily be permanently barefoot) and dozens of other things.

The reason people hire us is because they don’t want to deal with all the emotional baggage when closing out a persons’ life after they pass away.  There is no logic in hiring us, nothing that is rocket science.  However, none of that matters when you are emotionally involved with the estate.  There is no such thing as a simple call, one letter, not much to do or it won’t take long.  And, each time something has to get done, the emotion is attached.

Here are a few reasons you may want to consider asking for some assistance:

• My dad only had one bank account ~ found out later he had four.
• My mom lived in a nursing home for four years ~ found out that nothing was done when she moved out of her home.
• My husband left everything to me so there’s nothing to do ~ found out later that when I remarried there were problems with adding my new husband’s name.
• My family wants to maintain control – found out later that asking for help isn’t giving up control but maintaining it, along with my sanity.

 People do things for reasons, not logic ~

If you are looking at logic, there is no reason to hire us.  But, if you are looking for some help during a long and difficult time, consider the reasons why you want to hire us.  We’ll be here to help.

Tisha Diffie

Your Final Affairs Expert

Final Affairs of closing an estate: The death certificate debate

Final Affairs of closing an estate: The death certificate debate

The death certificate debate

One of the great debates we encounter in estate closing revolves around death certificates.  Some law firms say not to scrimp on buying them; the more you have the better; always send them registered mail return receipt; every company will need an original.  In our experience, that's not necessarily the case. 

Yes, there are specific companies that need originals but with the evolution of the internet, a lot more companies are taking scanned copies with additional proof of death (i.e. a letter from the funeral home or a copy of the obituary).

The Social Security Administration and Veterans Administration need originals as does the court system.  However, if you put a sticky note that says "please return original" along with a self addressed stamped envelope, they send it back.  From a cost perspective you can spend $20 each and buy 15 for a total of $300 or you can buy 6 for a total of $120 and then buy blank envelopes and stamps at $.45 each.   

There are many tricks like this that we can help with.  Although it doesn't reduce the emotional stress or grief associated with closing the estate, small things that can save money are a welcome change for the families we serve. 

As always, thank you for your continued support of After the Fact - Final Affairs.  It's a privilege to serve the families you refer us. 

Warmly,

Larry and Tisha Diffie
After the Fact - Final Affairs, LLC

I agreed to do a job for a friend.

Next time I'll know better. 

The call was received on Thursday morning before Memorial Day. Stella had died unexpectedly and I was being summoned to AZ, all the way from Georgia I might add, right now.  So much for my holiday plans.

Upon arrival in AZ I quickly remember why I moved from here. I was met at the airport by Stellas' neighbor and was given a quick rundown of the situation. It looks like it may be a bit messier than I originally thought. Why oh why did I agree to do this.  Why oh why didn't I stay in touch.  Why oh why on a thousand other thoughts.

As we pull into her home, I notice that it’s not a well kept as I remember it last time.  When was that, 3 maybe 4 years ago?  Did she mention she was having trouble keeping up?  I can’t remember.

Stepping through the front door, I almost back out and run away, straight back to the airport to catch the first flight that’s heading even remotely close to Georgia.  After a few brief seconds, my guilt takes over and I move forward.  How did this happen?  When did she acquire so much stuff?  What am I going to do with it all?  WHEN am I going to do it?  HOW do I do it?  WHERE do I start?  At least she didn’t have any animals, at least I hope not.  I think I need a drink.  Maybe later and definitely not here.

As I sit with the neighbor he gently explains what the last few weeks have been like and what Stella was like right before she died.  I think it was his way of comforting me and giving me strength to do what had to be done.  After some time and a myriad of questions, I thank him for his time and usher him out of Stella’s home.  I promptly sit and cry.  Why did I agree to be her personal representative?  I didn’t even know her anymore.

Stay tuned for more……

I can, but should I?

Today I read a blog titled “Concessions of an Over-Giver.”  My first thought was, how can you over-give?  After reading the blog I understood what she meant.  There is a big difference in over-giving and generosity.

That prompted me to think about my giving.  Just because I have it and I can, does that mean I should?

Granted, my mindset is if you can help (or give), then do.  But how I would define it and how the person receiving it would define it may be different.

Take my career for example.  Every time I hear of someone passing away, my first thought is always how can I help them or what can I give them to make this easier.  To me it makes perfect sense to reach out and want to make it all go away.

However, sometimes there is no grief, no closure or no acceptance unless the pain is gone through by the person.  That doesn’t mean they don’t want help or they won’t accept help, it’s just a matter of what kind of help is best for their situation.  And when you ask them how you can help, the usual reply is “I don’t need anything right now, thanks.”  But we all know they do need help they just don’t know how to express it in a way that won’t sound selfish.

So I’ve learned to say “Here is something I can help you with, is that alright?”  That doesn’t require any thought on their part, any guilt for accepting help and it still gives them the opportunity to be part of the process.  Once you have given to them, it’s much easier for them to ask for what they need later on.

Now, my mindset is this.  Here is how I can help (or give) to you that I hope is beneficial that won’t be too pushy or aggressive but that ads value to you and your situation.

Tisha Diffie

After the Fact – Final Affairs

It’s a LEAP to say that everything has been taken care of.

OK, I really tried to find a way to work in the LEAP thing because this day only happens once a year.  Maybe I’ll get it next time.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand.  I think it’s possible to take care of things when you know what to take care of.  But, what about the things you don’t know about that have to be taken care of that you don’t know to ask about?  It’s a bit of a mad circle that is hard to get out of.

This is the case when someone is closing the estate of a loved one.  If there are two consistent statements I hear it’s either “there isn’t any money in the estate so there’s nothing to do” or “everything was taken care of and put in order before they died.”  Neither of these statements is true nor applicable to the actual closing of the estate.

Here are a few things to know as you take on the role as trustee or personal representative.

ID theft happens, even after death.  The last thing you want to do is re-live the pain of losing your loved one again by having to deal with ID theft.  It’s so easy to find social security numbers and information on the web, even if your loved one never owned a computer.  Not dealing with even seemingly simple tasks leaves the estate vulnerable to unscrupulous people.  

It won’t take long so I’ll just handle it.  Ask anyone who’s done it and they’ll tell you that it took so much longer and was so much harder than they ever thought.  Not only is it something you’ve never done or know how to do, the frame of mind that you are in makes it all that more difficult.

This will be the last thing I have to do.  Generally speaking, the “last thing” usually generates one more “last thing” that has to be done.  One phone call to “this place” results in another phone call to “that place” which results in another phone call and so on and so on.  It seems to never end, especially when you have no one to help you during this difficult and emotional time.

Closing the estate isn’t something that can or should be taken lightly.  It’s a great responsibility with a lot more work than what appears on the surface.  Give yourself permission to get help.  Yes, it may cost money but the emotional toll, time away from work and family, travel, research and other things cost as well.

So, take a LEAP and really get everything done, properly.  OK, I know it was a stretch, but I did try.

Tisha Diffie

WHY, not how or what

When people ask me what I do for a living, my standard answer has always been to explain what I do.  But I was challenged last night to start looking at my business (and my life) as a WHY, not a how or a what.

Sure, I can tell you what our business is (Professional Estate Closure working directly for the families) how we do our business (we run final credit reports, remove information from the internet, research and find money and a myriad of other tasks) but I never say WHY I do this and why it’s important.

So, WHY do I do this?  Because, I don’t want anyone to go through what I did.  No surprise phone calls when I’m having a bad day; no months of completing paperwork only to have it sent back time after time; no surprise birthday card from people who didn’t know about the death; no more wasted vacation days spent at the bank, running errands, waiting on hold or sorting through paperwork.  Basically, I want to help them because there was no one to help me.

I believe that every family should have an opportunity to grieve their loss and spend time with each other. I don’t want them to feel like they have to do everything.  I don’t want them to feel like this will never end.  I don’t want them to feel completely overwhelmed and exhausted by everything.

If, at the end of the day, I was able to help one person in some small way, then our business was a success, in every way.

BTW – thank you Brian for the challenge!

Tisha Diffie

Maintenance

My dentist wants me to brush and floss three times a day, I brush three, sometimes more.  My A/C guy wants me to change my filter every month, my husband does that (thank you!).  My car company wants me to change my oil every 3,000 miles, I do every 5,000 and they want me to rotate my tires then too, can’t remember when I did that last.  My carpet cleaner wants me to have them cleaned every 12 months, I barely vacuum the few rooms that do have carpet.  My estate attorney wants me to review my documents every year ~ her suggestion is on New Years’ Day ~ I do that.  My planner wants me to update my beneficiaries every year, mine haven’t really changed in quite a while.

I could go on but you get the idea.  

I’m all for maintenance.  My car is 10 years old; it has less than 100,000 miles; it is clean; it is lubed; and it gets me where I need to go.  It’s not especially pretty on the outside but that’s not the most important thing to me.  My teeth are great!  My parents spent several thousand dollars on braces so I feel the least I can do is take care of them, they aren’t easily replaceable. 

We could spend a great deal of our time on maintenance for everything we have; material and abstract alike.  But, if we are truthful about it, most of us will opt not do anything until there is a problem.

This works in almost every case except death.  There is no backing up, no fixing, no maintenance, nothing.  Just the end with no option to say one more thing, do one more thing, fix one more thing, or maintain one more thing.

If there is one more thing that I have learned in my profession it’s to “maintenance” the things that are really important; your faith; your family; your friends; your mental, emotional and physical health.  Yes other things are important, but no one thinks about those at the end, they only think about the time you spent maintaining the relationship with them.  I’m sure these are the MOST important ones.

Tisha Diffie
After the Fact - Final Affairs
www.afterthefact-finalaffairs.com